i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
