a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
