You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
