It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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