haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
