two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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