i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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