Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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