You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
