I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
