Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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