guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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