I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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