just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
