She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
