Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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