if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
