You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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