Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
