wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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