If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
