i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
