We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
