So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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