I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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