Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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