There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
