Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sext me about skeletons
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
