Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
