fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
