Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
