You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
