Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it's like iHOP with fire
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
