if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
