I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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