Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
