this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
being pregnant is like rehab
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
