batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
