oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
