what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
