I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
