i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
