I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Blood and glitter go together right?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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