i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
