Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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