...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
