youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
