Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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