ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
