but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Girls should come with a carfax report
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
