Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
