How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
