If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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